this doesn't make me feel comfortable..at all.
and i don't want to "box her in"
but this doesn't make me feel happy.
and i feel like..bleh.

and since it's not okay to talk about what i think to you i will talk to myself here.

are you trying to build a friendship with him to eventually get back with him?
why be friends with a kid you "wanted nothing to do with" before?
and who treated you like shit?
why does my opinion not matter enough anymore?
how many times do i have to cry for you to understand how much stuff like this hurts?
what am i doing wrong?
and why do you freak out every time i just simply ask for reassurance? sorry that i need alot of it..its just hard to be so easy going about something that makes your heart stop.

you put us in this box..and now when i'm happy here you tell me you don't really wanna be boxed in with me anymore.

i am so a jumble of emotions..i don't think i could cry anymore this week.
i hate the feeling of feeling like i mean the world to feeling very insignificant.
and i hope this feeling goes away soon and i hope that you realize how much i mean to you when we are face to face again.
because until then i don't know if you will realize it. i am hoping that everything will fall into place. i also hope (hope hope hope obama?! jk lol) that if i ease up and don't latch on as tightly and do my own thing as well that you won't lose interest in me. and you can't force fate obviously..but i do know what i felt with you when i was with you. and theres picture proof that you felt it too. god how gay can i get ..really? lol

i just hope that i am overreacting.


because i know how happy i was here...




and i wanna feel like i'm this girls everything again.