i'm in nycccc..and noones awake..and its cold and snow is coming in through the windows

GRADESSSS...finally!

Intro to Art Photo- B+
Film History- C+ (fuckin failed every test in that class..hell yes for that grade)
Transmedia Studio- A
Transmedia Colloquim- A
English- A

andddd...NYC TOMORROW!

YAYAYAY

merry day after christmas :)

my christmas was goooood..better than it has been the past years..i got
1.) pea coat :)
2.) FINALLLLY a silver purse
3.)earrings/bracelets
4.)random lil stuff
5.)50$ american xpress giftcard


more tomorrow night from the rest of the family..woooo

sooooo...breakbreakbreak...i've been home for 10 days..and so far i've...had surgery..got out of the hospital..stayed in my boring housefor a week while various people came over and then starting friday night i haven't slept at my house since..friday night i sleptover gwens..saturday night jessies..and last night theresas...wooooo break!..i'm not excited for christmas at all..my dad didn't even put up a tree :/

Dear Syracuse,

BYEEEEE! Seeya January 12th.

Love, me.

packing packing packing! i think im taking more back with me than what i came up here with

i didn't even remember today would've been one year until an alarm went off on my phone just now..
lmao what a JOKE!

i can't wait to be home. and then i can? i dunno. it's always i wanna be back and then i don't. i only don't get frustrated and sick of my family when i'm out away from them everyday. so hopefully i can make that happen. i'm going into surgery dec 12th! friday! come visit centercityins/south phillyins..i'll be at hahnemann this time..an adult hospital..i'm scared. i've always had my surgeries at the childrens hospital and it was just like..happier because they tried to keep your mind off stuff. and they always do fun things around holidays andddd i like know all the nurses. oh well i guess its time to grow up :/ i just hope it's not as cold and lonely as i'm imaginin and the nurses are equally as nice as in st christophers.

my dad is picking me up in his hooptie

i'm never going to get home

i have self revelations in my sleep.

i'm not the most confident person. i've never had luck in relationships, and used to hookup for that quick fix of feeling like i mattered. i refuse to let myself be that girl again. i just don't know how to move from those ways.i don't want to chase anymore and try harder than those i've been with trying to make them stay. it's time to wait for something real and something i deserve. i ALLOW myself to be stepped on. over and over. just to feel wanted. how the fuck do you build confidence? cause i sure would love to know.

i never want to hear from you again.

i. feel. like. death.

someone bring me soup?

:(